I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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