Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
