Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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