They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
