Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His hands were made for my vagina.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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