I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
