Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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