She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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