Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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