I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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