she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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