Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize