she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
