She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
