kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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