This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
