So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
