yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
