I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
