so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize