I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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