the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
