I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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