Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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