im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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