I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
