We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
