She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
