whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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