you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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