I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
