So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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