every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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