Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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