Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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