well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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