i just google imaged poop.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
