Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
