he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
