Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Randomize
