one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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