pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize