guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
