Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
