He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
my god I love twenty year old dicks
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
