seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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