Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
and she was petting her beer can
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
