Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
how do you play pong handcuffed?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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