Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
even my farts smell like vagina
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That accounts for only three of the penises
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
