I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
