I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it glows. i had to have it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
