i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
