in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
