Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
