There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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