Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
