ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
accomplished twins. life is a go
a search helicopter?!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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